a sweet and sour holiday package

one more week to the start of Year 2, foresee a great deal of workload and stress. hmm. don't be dreaded yo, embrace it with greater deal of hope and determination! *tepuk-tepuk dada tanda semangat* ahahaha. holidays had been fruitful so far, been to Genting, Melaka and Tangkak, Johor. good experience, good food! and the opportunity to spend time with friends and family, all was good. less $$$, less sleep but all was put to good use (i think), haha. but i had some embarrassing and sad moments too. T.T

on a serious note, i have something to say. just a piece of my mind, i don't know how to express it best but i will try my best. perhaps you may find it debatable but not here not now.

life is not pathetic, it can be and it will be because you choose the path that leads to it. and some people have no means of choosing the path of their lives, their lives are unfortunately downcast by nature, all is bad, all is bad. but still, you can choose, to be happy. of course you think i am crazy. how to be happy when you are penniless, bleak and barren, becoming the object of laughters, obsolated? why not? i have no money but i am living. i am stupid but i have many good friends. i am ugly but i can speak and laugh. the only obstacle is our very own pride, jealousy, greed, human nature by all means. don't laugh and think i am shallow. you are as shallow as me.

some people criticise religions saying how these religions manipulate and take advantage of people who are desperate by giving them hopes and new life. it's easy how fast you pass a judgement because you have not been there, you don't see any needs for that and you mock those yearning for God's love. you deride all you want, while the people who have hopes and faith continue to relish in the food for soul, finding joy in times of despair, hoping you will see what they see.

but,
hope or faith as strong as the strength of a twig bears nothing. makes no difference. it takes much more than that. disappointments. failures. deaths. one after another. i am yet to understand completely but persistance is the key.

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i cannot break myself into two.
i wish i know what to do.
i cannot read minds.
neither do i expect you to read mine.
if i am the reason for your sorrow,
do you know i am equally sorrowed?
damn you fool.
for nobody is perfect.
faulty us both.

you can go your way,
but,
there will be a void in the friendship pool upon your absence,
only to be filled by you when you return.